Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
