Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
