yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
