oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
