the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I party with great urgency now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
