Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize