We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's the barista slut.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
