My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
