Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize