Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
