I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
