i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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