Whod you bang
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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