it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
