he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
