would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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