super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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