I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
