there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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