I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
