It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize