And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
