Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
