So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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