I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Two words: nipple clamps
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