that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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