If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's the barista slut.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
