I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
