i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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