I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
