yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
