she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
