Do you still have your period?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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