you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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