The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
