I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
