So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
