Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
