woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hippo gnu deer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
