Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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