found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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