just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
