On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
