I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
