So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
