i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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