i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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