I feel great
I just peed on a car
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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