yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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