Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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