I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i think my cat just said my name.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
