How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
