I am midnight drunk by noon
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
