I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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