wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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