Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
