i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want nice things and good sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
