she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
