I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
